If an intimate friend were to describe you, would she use the word trustworthy? What would be the basis of her description . . . do you nurture security, love, service, limits, freedom, enjoyment, faith, and encouragement in your relationship? Do you challenge your friend to reach her full potential?1  If so, you have the foundation of being a trustworthy friend.

A brief journey through Scripture reveals the significant impact that trustworthy friends can make on your life.  Friends, according to Scripture  . . .

·refresh one another (Proverbs 11:25).

·greatly influence us (Proverbs 13:20).

·love you enough to share information you don’t want to hear in a way that you can accept it (Proverbs 16:21).

·refuse to entertain the words of a slanderer (Proverbs 16:28).

·are often more loyal than family members (Proverbs 18:24).

·help you to see where you fall short of doing God's will (Proverbs 27:6).

·offer wise counsel because their overriding motive is to seek your long-term good (Proverbs 27:9).

What are the similarities between roses and friendships?  Your first thought may be nothing—yet if you take the time to develop the idea a number of resemblances surface.  Just as the beauty of the unfurling rose remains concealed until it is fully open, so often the loveliness of a friendship remains undiscovered until you create many memories.  Since you have a busy schedule, you will probably not experience the same level of intimacy in each friendship you cultivate. Perhaps the visual image of a budding rose will help you understand the various phases of friendship and assist you in developing realistic friendship expectations.

PHASE ONE—THE GREEN BUD

As with the rose when it is wrapped in its green shroud, the knowledge of your friend is vague at Green Bud phase.  You know who the person is and perhaps some basic information about her.  Our wise heavenly Father brings a variety of temperaments together to sharpen one another in friendships (Proverbs 27:17).  Sometimes the friends will be very similar; other times they will be very different.  Regardless of the temperaments of the ladies, the Green Bud phase begins with respect for one another.  Though one of the ladies will probably need to initiate the relationship, the other can demonstrate that she is available.

Do you have weeds in your friendship garden?  Perhaps yes, perhaps no; however, in the midst of our multi-tasking we can often overlook them until they begin to dominate.  Since female companionship counters so many of the negative aspects of life, keeps you healthy, and may even add years to your life, it is incredibly important to consistently examine the garden and weed it, if necessary.  This not only helps to modify our own “weedy” behavior but also allows us to graciously assist our friends in understanding their destructive effects on the relationship (Proverbs 27:17; 31:28-29). 

          The most important element in the fight against weeds is to promote the best environment possible for the growth of desirable plants.  Improper watering or fertilization, soil compaction, insect damage, disease, poor drainage, and improper sunlight are all conditions that increase the potential for weed development.1  What is true of the care and maintenance of gardens is equally true in the nurturing of your friendships; relational weeds in the Friendship Garden have the potential of stunting or completely stopping growth.  The book of John teaches that